With someone you know
Knowing your donor changes everything, including what you need to plan for.
A known donor (introduced by a friend, family member, or someone in a community) gives your future child something a sperm bank never can, which is an identity from day one. It also means a different set of conversations, agreements, and legal steps so it's worth doing right.
First, the language
What a “known donor” actually is and isn't.
A known donor is someone you (the recipient's) personally know by name, by face, and by relationship at the time of donation. They could be a close friend, a family member of your partner, someone introduced through community, or someone you've connected with via an AU donor introduction service.
What “known donor” doesn't mean: it doesn't automatically mean “father” or “co-parent”. The legal and social role of a known donor is whatever you and they agree to, in writing, before insemination. That agreement is the most important thing you'll do.
What “known donor” doesn't mean: it doesn't automatically mean “father” or “co-parent”. The legal and social role of a known donor is whatever you and they agree to, in writing, before insemination. That agreement is the most important thing you'll do.
The conversations to have first
Before any insemination, have these talks, in this order.
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Role: donor or co-parent?The single most important conversation. A donor steps back. A co-parent stays in. Trying to do “in between” is where things go wrong.
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Contact post-birthNone? Letters? Christmas visits? Active relationship? Whatever you choose, write it down.
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What the child is told, whenYou'll likely make that call as parents but it's worth knowing if your donor expects to be involved in those conversations.
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Future siblingsIf you want a second child, will you use the same donor? Decide before you start the first attempt.
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MoneyAU law: donors cannot be paid for sperm itself. Reasonable expenses (travel, costs) are usually fine. Get this defined.
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Health screeningSTI panel, basic genetic screen. Non-negotiable. We guide you through what to ask for in this page - About your donor.
AU legal essentials, in plain English: if you're using home insemination with a known donor in AU and the recipient is in a civil union or marriage, the recipient's partner is usually the legal second parent at birth and the donor is not. But this only holds cleanly if (a) the donation is via insemination, not intercourse, and (b) you have a written, signed donor agreement made before insemination. Skipping the paperwork is where families get blindsided years later.
The process, end to end
What working with a known donor actually looks like.
01
Conversations
The role-and-relationship talks. Don't skip ahead. Most issues come from rushing this.
02
Agreement
Written, signed, ideally legally reviewed. Before any insemination happens.
03
Health checks
STI panel for the donor (current within 3 months). Genetic screen if relevant. Recipient bloods if needed.
04
Insemination
Cycle tracking, fresh samples, home insemination.
Where to next